History of the Balloon

The origins of the unfortunate falling out between President Lincoln and the Wright Brothers remains a source of debate for contemporary scholars, particularly in regards to who started it. Renowned historian Suzanne Tutorleo often cites Lincoln's letter to Mary Todd, written on April 16, 1863, as evidence that the brothers were to blame. In this letter, Lincoln describes a dinner party which both he and the brothers attended.

Executive Mansion, Washington, April 16, 1863.

My dear Wife.

All as well as usual, and no particular trouble any way. I suppose you are glad to learn this. Tell dear Tad, poor "Nanny Goat," is lost; and Mrs. Cuthbert & I are in distress about it. The day you left Nanny was found resting herself, and chewing her little cud, on the middle of Tad's bed. But now she's gone! The gardener kept complaining that she destroyed the flowers, till it was concluded to bring her down to the White House. This was done, and the second day she had disappeared, and has not been heard of since. This is the last we know of poor "Nanny."

The weather continues dry, and excessively warm here. Nothing very important here occurring, other than a trying incident at Mrs. Martin's dinner party. I was just about to relay my humorous anecdote about how Peace Democrats drive their wagons in a certain fashion and War Democrats drive their wagons in an entirely different fashion when, from behind me, I heard two boorish voices calling me a 'high-falutin hornswoggle' and a 'futzy flannel-mouth.' I turned around to see those boys from North Carolina who invented that flying machine. I looked at them all acock, and assured them they had got the wrong pig by the tail, and I don't need to tell you I was hot as a whorehouse on nickel night. This seemed only to encourage them as they laughed and insinuated that I had made brazen overtures toward a mule. The whole incident was revolting and I can't help but think that it has diminished me in the eyes of Mrs. Martin. But enough.

Affectionately, Abraham

Tutorleo assumes that this letter is describing the first meeting between the President and the Brothers, an assessment that some historians have argued. The most outspoken dissenter is F. P. Sneet, who posits a letter written by Wilbur before their "flying machine" (as Lincoln calls it) is even invented.

Dear Ma,

Orville and I are still working on our groundless carriage and things aren't going well. Separating the ground from the carriage has proven more difficult than we had originally hoped. Orville seems to think the problem is gravity related, and I think it's a wind deal. He is going to Old Man Pimbleton's tomorrow to see if he really has a Gravity-Be-Gone. Meanwhile, I have to look for the source of the wind by myself. But enough technical mumbo-jumbo.

You'll never guess who came by the science field yesterday. That up and coming young President from Illinois, Abreham Lincoln, and a more brutish president I've never heard. He spent the entire afternoon yelling at us from behind a fence thirty feet away. Every time we looked up, he would look around the fields and start to whistle all nonchalant like, as though he weren't the one yelling! He said we would never amount to anything and that the sky belongs to the birds and the clouds. Also, I think he stole one of our goats. Just be thankful that you didn't have the right to vote for him.

Your son, Wilbur

Wilbur's misspelling of the President's name has led some scholars to suggest that he was actually referring to an entirely different up and coming president from Illinois named "Abreham." This seems unlikely as no reference can be found to an Abreham Lincoln anywhere in the Library of Congress, other than this letter.

So the source of the conflict remains unclear. We do know that it is this conflict that caused Lincoln to demand a cheap alternative to the Wright Brother's "devil birds." He called for a craft that "might float above the battle, but move slow enough to mock the speed and efficiency of the Wright's flying machine." Some anonymous nineteenth century scientist took the liberty of inventing the Lincoln Balloon, just before being captured by the president, who took all the credit.