Bad Poems

Five minute poems are poems that you write in five minutes or less. That way you don't feel bad when the poem sucks because you didn't spend much time on it. examples:

1)
My Mind is like the Nautilus
It sails the seven sees,
My coffee tastes like phosphorous
It burns me when I pee.

2)
I'm angry angry angry
NOT!
How can I be angry when I own a yacht?

You're happy happy happy
TRUE!
When we sail on my yacht it's only me and you.

3)
My friends are flat but fair,
They compliment my hair,
My enemies are shapely,
When I go out they stare.

4)
This morning I awoke,
and found my eyes sealed shut,
"This is new" I thought,
Avoiding quite the fuss,

It's just one thing to deal with,
I shall not let it change me,
But true nature revealeth,
It turns out I'm quite crazy.

5)
I've read many a verse
And I've found my poems worse,

Those who wrote before me
would probably abhor me,

Their words are bold and daring
Mine falter when comparing,

Their rhyme schemes are complex
Mine easy to detect,

Their themes are edgy for their time
Mine just reek of turpentine.

That's what I came up with. Let's see what you can do.